Habit


Most of the time, I agree with Wayne Dyer—he passes on a lot of powerful information. However, one particular statement Dyer made in “The Power of Intention” disturbed me. He said that it was important to develop the mindset, “I want to feel good.” But the statement, “I want,” bothered me.

The correct use of the statement, “I need,” refers to the essentials in life…we need a certain amount of food, water, or clothing, depending on the temperature. We speak of people being “in need,” usually meaning that they are lacking what most would consider to be essentials. . .again—food, water, clothing, shelter, healthcare.

We often use need incorrectly, as in, “I need new jeans,” or “I need to put a gazebo in my back yard.” A more accurate way to say it would be that “I want new jeans,” or “I want to put a gazebo in my back yard.” Yet, again, what are we saying?

When we say “want,” what is the implication?

I want new jeans or I want a gazebo means that these thing probably do not already exist among the things I have. I don’t need them, in the sense that my survival is not really dependent on whether I have them or not, but whether I need something, or whether I want it, I am expressing the fact (or perception) that I don’t have it.

I say perception because sometimes we say we want or need something we already have. I need something to eat may completely ignore a full refrigerator if there is not something there I feel like eating. I don’t have a thing to wear may be ignoring a full closet. I need friends may completely ignore the fact that I have more friends out there than I could begin to count.

Back to Dyer. To me, I want means I don’t have. If I don’t have, I am saying that I lack something. If I say, “I want to feel good,” does that mean, when I say it, that I don’t “feel good?” After all, it is something I want. I have placed it as something out there, not in the sphere of things I own.

I am careful about thinking I want. If what I want will not make a substantial difference in my life, I question spending the energy on the wanting. Wanting often only succeeds in reinforcing places in your life where you don’t have.

Wanting focuses on the holes in the fabric of your life, and not the threads—what is not there, instead of what is. If you fill every hole, you may keep the rain out, but you also will not be able to breathe. The saying goes, “You will never be rich enough, or thin enough?” There will always be someone richer or thinner.

Is your choice then, to be unsatisfied, in want, because you have decided that whatever you have or intend to achieve is not enough? By whose standards?

When you find yourself wanting, ask: Is what I want going to truly affect my life?

Or is wanting just a habit?

Copyright © 2011 Sandra Kischuk and Living Beyond Limits. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sandra Kischuk and Living Beyond Limits with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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